Just Breathe

I have liked this song for awhile, but never really paid attention to it. A nice melody and the soothing voice of Eddie Vedder (is that wrong?) make for a beautiful song to kind of hum along to. It is only after really paying attention to what he is saying that you feel the impact of the song itself. It ties in well with my blog post this evening over on the blog site. Enjoy!

Anniversary Special

So typically I just go to YouTube to find the videos for here, however, today is my 9th wedding anniversary so I decided to do something a little different.  The first song is the song we danced to for our first dance at our wedding.  It is Nick Lachey's "This I Swear".  It wasn't truly "our" song.  It was and is a beautiful song and was great for our first dance.  The melody and lyrics make for a perfect wedding song.



The second video is truly our song.  The song was one of the main songs from Shrek 2, which came out just over two weeks before our wedding, so there was no changing the song.  Besides, I am not sure I could have done my white guy, rocking back and forth slow dance to it.  The title perfectly sums up how Renee and I began our journey together.  It was by mere chance that we met, that she accepted my invitation to go to a basketball game with me, and that we fell in love.  The song is "Accidentally In Love" by Counting Crows.

Ashley Parker Angel - Apology

I have liked this song for years, but only heard it again recently while going through music files.  The song isn't very well known which lends to it's appeal.  It fits with where I have been, but not necessarily where I am at now.  But it certainly speaks to the struggles of feeling like you messed up everything and there is no way to make it right again, so it is time to leave.  Now, he may be speaking of simply leaving in the song, but for someone like me, leaving was more than just "leaving."  Going for him may have been more about moving away or moving out, but for me it was going permanently.

 

Simple Plan - Welcome to My Life

I don't really have much to say about this one.  It is pretty straightforward in how it plays in my mind.  

Coby Brown - Madman & Hospital

So I stumbled across the song "Madman" by Coby Brown while looking for another song of his called "Hospital."  I was introduced to "Hospital" by hearing the Counting Crows do a cover of it on their "Underwater Sunshine" album.  "Madman" when I first listened to it I was drawn in by the recurring theme of the waves keep coming.  That is how I have felt for a long time now.  The waves keep rolling in, crashing over me, knocking me down, one after another.  That pattern seemed never ending and unrelenting.  Some waves big, some waves small.  You never knew what the next one would be, you just knew it was coming.  Could come quick or wait awhile, but the wave would come and it would be followed by another.

As I said before, I first heard "Hospital" when it was done by Counting Crows so I guess I should give you their version of it.  It is a little longer than the original, but carries the same truths.  

Sister Hazel - Your Mistake

I know I had a Sister Hazel song already this week, but Pandora or iHeartRadio reminded me of this song by them and I had to listen to it again.  In typical Sister Hazel fashion they do a good job with their lyrics describing things in a way that makes sense to someone like me.  So here it is.

Goo Goo Dolls - Sympathy

I think the top Youtube comment on this song kind of sums it up for me:

KruelAK 4 months ago


"This song just came on Pandora at work, and the lyrics FINALLY hit me..HARD
And now I'm here at work taking in all that he's singing, and it depresses me..but in such a good way.
I'm no longer a kid liking this song because of the catchy beat, but I'm a man who feels these words he sings, and connects with them.

WOW, that's all I can really say.."

Minus the Pandora part that is pretty much how I feel.  I have always liked this song but never really paid attention to the lyrics and the meanings behind them until recently.



Stranger than your sympathy

And this is my apology

I'm killing myself from the inside out

And all my fears have pushed you out

And I wished for things that I don't need

(all I wanted)

And what I chased won't set me free

(all I wanted)

And I get scared but I'm not crawlin' on my knees

Oh, yeah

Everything's all wrong, yeah

Everything's all wrong, yeah

Where the hell did I think I was?

And stranger than your sympathy

I take these things, so I don't feel

I'm killing myself from the inside out

And now my head's been filled with doubt

We're taught to lead the life you choose

(all I wanted)

When all your luck's run out on you

(all I wanted)

And you can't see when all your dreams aren't coming true

Oh, yeah

It's easy to forget, yeah

And you choke on the regrets, yeah

Who the hell did I think I was?

And stranger than your sympathy

And all these thoughts you stole from me
And I'm not sure where I belong

And no where's home and I'm all wrong

And I wasn't all the things I tried to make you believe I was

And I wouldn't be the one to kneel before the dreams I wanted

And all the dark and all the lies were all the empty things disguised as me

Mmm, yeah

Stranger than your sympathy

Stranger than your sympathy

Mmm hmmm mmm

Sister Hazel - Your Winter

I have enjoyed many bands like Sister Hazel over the years.  Counting Crows, Matchbox 20, Barenaked Ladies, and many others have sang numerous songs each that I can easily identify with.  This one is no different.  I am not going to post the lyrics, if you would like to look them up you can, but the beauty of artists like this is that you can understand what they are saying, and you can hear in their singing the emotions behind it.



Real Music Therapy

So when I was in the looney bin, also known as the psychiatric hospital, we had group sessions that were music therapy.  It was twice per week so I had two true music therapy sessions.  They played some music during a few of the other sessions.  You know, during arts and crafts, also known as "Expressive Therapy."  The first music therapy session feature a woman with a keyboard.  She sang us this song.

A few days later the same lady wielding a guitar strolled into the group room/conference room/TV room/board game room/holding area for all of us.  She came with a new song to sing to us and have us decipher.

There were other songs she sang and I can not tell you what they were.  These two were the ones she focused on, providing us with handouts with the lyrics on them.  Both songs have a tone of keeping a positive attitude even while weathering the storm.

Three for Thursday - Matchbox 20

Ok, so it is Thursday and I decided to post three songs from the same band.  Matchbox 20 certainly peaked in the 90's and some of there songs were played so much on the radio people began to tune out their music.  I have been a fan of theirs for some time now.  I love the lyrics to the songs, Rob Thomas, the lead singer, sings and writes a lot that seems to deal with mental illness and some of the struggles.  For example, the first song up, Unwell.  Thomas intended for the song to be a metaphor for humanity in general, but fairly well sums up most people dealing with mental illness.  I went ahead and found videos with the lyrics up on the screen so the post wouldn't be eight miles long.

Next up by Matchbox 20 is Downfall.  Downfall was released as a single, but didn't fair too well.  For me it is a song that basically says: "I know I am not the best thing for you, but love me anyway."  I don't know if that is how he intended it to be interpreted, but that is my take on it.


Finally, to round out our threefer Thursday is "If You're Gone."  I very well could have chosen "Disease" and went back and forth between the two.  I considered making it a foursome of songs, but thought that may be too much, and you were probably bored after the first one anyway.  I went with this one over "Disease" because it is a little more me.  A little less 'I'm sick so keep your distance,' and a little more 'I've done some shitty things, but I need you in my life.  I understand why you have checked out, but I am doing better, so come back.'  So how many of you made it through the first two and are going to make it through all three?

Trouble By Ray LaMontagne

A lot of you will probably recognize this song from a commercial.  I'm pretty sure it was for an insurance company with a dog hiding a bone.  But, this song is actually very good.  For those of you who have never heard the full thing and have only been subjected to the snippet in the commercial, here it is.  I put the lyrics for it underneath the video.  Enjoy.

Trouble...
Trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble
Trouble been doggin' my soul since the day I was born
Worry...
Worry, worry, worry, worry
Worry just will not seem to leave my mind alone
We'll I've been...
saved by a woman
I've been...
saved by a woman
I've been...
saved by a woman
She won't let me go
She won't let me go now
She won't let me go
She won't let me go now

Trouble...
Oh, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble
Feels like every time I get back on my feet
she come around and knock me down again
Worry...
Oh, worry, worry, worry, worry
Sometimes I swear it feels like this worry is my only friend
We'll I've been saved...
by a woman
I've been saved...
by a woman
I've been saved...
by a woman
She won't let me go
She won't let me go now
She won't let me go
She won't let me go now

Oh..., Ahhhh....
Ohhhh
She good to me now
She gave me love and affection
She good tell me now
She gave me love and affection
I Said I love her
Yes I love her
I said I love her
I said I love...
She good to me now
She's good to me
She's good to me

Shadow Days By John Mayer

This song is one that I first heard around the time I first went to see the psychiatrist.  I heard it on the radio in the kitchen while doing dishes and I immediately had to go look it up.  The song and it's lyrics were something that struck a chord in me.  For me, shadow days described depression.  A time spent in self created darkness.  So in seeking help professionally for depression for the first time I was hoping my shadow days were over.

Did you know that you could be wrong
And swear you’re right
Some people been known to do it
All their lives

But you find yourself alone
Just like you found yourself before
Like I found myself in pieces
On the hotel floor

Hard times help me see

I’m a good man with a good heart
Had a tough time, got a rough start
But I finally learned to let it go
Now I’m right here, and I’m right now
And I’m hoping, knowing somehow
That my shadow days are over
My shadow days are over now

Well I ain't no trouble maker
And I never meant her harm
But it doesn’t mean I didn’t make it
Hard to carry on

Well it sucks to be honest (honest)
And it hurts to be real
But it's nice to make some love
That I can finally feel

Hard times let me be

I’m a good man with a good heart
Had a tough time, got a rough start
But I finally learned to let it go
Now I’m right here, and I’m right now
And I’m hoping, knowing somehow
That my shadow days are over
My shadow days are over now

Start Again By Counting Crows (Originally By Teenage Fanclub)

This was the first song in the series of songs for the "Songs That Pop Into My Head" page on the Depressible Me blog.  I decided to switch over to this format and make a new blog set-up for these songs because I want to be able to go back and see the songs and the thoughts they provoked.  I never imagined I would have a blog page, let alone two, but I think this is the best way to achieve an archive of the songs.  So here is the first one I posted, I am not even sure what I typed to go along with it.  I know it just kind of talked about how music has proven time and time again to provide comfort and solace to me.  How sound and lyrics have helped me understand things going on around me and with me.  Sometimes it is just easier to express your own feelings through someone else's words and music.  So here is Start Again sang by the Counting Crows, originally recorded by Teenage Fanclub. The lyrics for the song are underneath the video.

I don't know if you can hear me,
I'm feeling down and can't think clearly,
Even though it's complicated,
We've got time to start again,
I don't know if you can hear me.

Some things I'd change but it's too late,
I'd take the past and make it straight,
And even though it's complicated,
We've got time to start again,
I don't know if you can hear me.

Even though it's complicated,
We've got time to start again,
I don't know if you can hear me.

I'm sorry for the things I've said,
But some thoughts just won't leave my head,
And even though it's complicated,
We've got time to start again,
I don't know if you can hear me.

Even though it's complicated,
We've got time to start again,
I don't know if you can hear me.

Even though it's complicated,
We've got time to start again,
I don't know if you can hear me.