Ashley Parker Angel - Apology

I have liked this song for years, but only heard it again recently while going through music files.  The song isn't very well known which lends to it's appeal.  It fits with where I have been, but not necessarily where I am at now.  But it certainly speaks to the struggles of feeling like you messed up everything and there is no way to make it right again, so it is time to leave.  Now, he may be speaking of simply leaving in the song, but for someone like me, leaving was more than just "leaving."  Going for him may have been more about moving away or moving out, but for me it was going permanently.

 

Simple Plan - Welcome to My Life

I don't really have much to say about this one.  It is pretty straightforward in how it plays in my mind.  

Coby Brown - Madman & Hospital

So I stumbled across the song "Madman" by Coby Brown while looking for another song of his called "Hospital."  I was introduced to "Hospital" by hearing the Counting Crows do a cover of it on their "Underwater Sunshine" album.  "Madman" when I first listened to it I was drawn in by the recurring theme of the waves keep coming.  That is how I have felt for a long time now.  The waves keep rolling in, crashing over me, knocking me down, one after another.  That pattern seemed never ending and unrelenting.  Some waves big, some waves small.  You never knew what the next one would be, you just knew it was coming.  Could come quick or wait awhile, but the wave would come and it would be followed by another.

As I said before, I first heard "Hospital" when it was done by Counting Crows so I guess I should give you their version of it.  It is a little longer than the original, but carries the same truths.  

Sister Hazel - Your Mistake

I know I had a Sister Hazel song already this week, but Pandora or iHeartRadio reminded me of this song by them and I had to listen to it again.  In typical Sister Hazel fashion they do a good job with their lyrics describing things in a way that makes sense to someone like me.  So here it is.

Goo Goo Dolls - Sympathy

I think the top Youtube comment on this song kind of sums it up for me:

KruelAK 4 months ago


"This song just came on Pandora at work, and the lyrics FINALLY hit me..HARD
And now I'm here at work taking in all that he's singing, and it depresses me..but in such a good way.
I'm no longer a kid liking this song because of the catchy beat, but I'm a man who feels these words he sings, and connects with them.

WOW, that's all I can really say.."

Minus the Pandora part that is pretty much how I feel.  I have always liked this song but never really paid attention to the lyrics and the meanings behind them until recently.



Stranger than your sympathy

And this is my apology

I'm killing myself from the inside out

And all my fears have pushed you out

And I wished for things that I don't need

(all I wanted)

And what I chased won't set me free

(all I wanted)

And I get scared but I'm not crawlin' on my knees

Oh, yeah

Everything's all wrong, yeah

Everything's all wrong, yeah

Where the hell did I think I was?

And stranger than your sympathy

I take these things, so I don't feel

I'm killing myself from the inside out

And now my head's been filled with doubt

We're taught to lead the life you choose

(all I wanted)

When all your luck's run out on you

(all I wanted)

And you can't see when all your dreams aren't coming true

Oh, yeah

It's easy to forget, yeah

And you choke on the regrets, yeah

Who the hell did I think I was?

And stranger than your sympathy

And all these thoughts you stole from me
And I'm not sure where I belong

And no where's home and I'm all wrong

And I wasn't all the things I tried to make you believe I was

And I wouldn't be the one to kneel before the dreams I wanted

And all the dark and all the lies were all the empty things disguised as me

Mmm, yeah

Stranger than your sympathy

Stranger than your sympathy

Mmm hmmm mmm

Sister Hazel - Your Winter

I have enjoyed many bands like Sister Hazel over the years.  Counting Crows, Matchbox 20, Barenaked Ladies, and many others have sang numerous songs each that I can easily identify with.  This one is no different.  I am not going to post the lyrics, if you would like to look them up you can, but the beauty of artists like this is that you can understand what they are saying, and you can hear in their singing the emotions behind it.



Real Music Therapy

So when I was in the looney bin, also known as the psychiatric hospital, we had group sessions that were music therapy.  It was twice per week so I had two true music therapy sessions.  They played some music during a few of the other sessions.  You know, during arts and crafts, also known as "Expressive Therapy."  The first music therapy session feature a woman with a keyboard.  She sang us this song.

A few days later the same lady wielding a guitar strolled into the group room/conference room/TV room/board game room/holding area for all of us.  She came with a new song to sing to us and have us decipher.

There were other songs she sang and I can not tell you what they were.  These two were the ones she focused on, providing us with handouts with the lyrics on them.  Both songs have a tone of keeping a positive attitude even while weathering the storm.